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You figure the sand is warm why not stick your head in it?
Meanwhile, the tax man is tapping his foot, waiting for you to get your act together.
Well, no harm in asking him to wait a little longer, right?
Who cares if last-minute filing means rushed calculations, missing deductions, and potential fines?
Youre handling this the way you handled those college papers by pulling an all-nighter the night before theyre due.
(Howd that work out, by the way?)
You may not be aware of it, but tax procrastination has distinct stages.
Lets see where you land.
Denial
Okay, April 15th is, like, weeks away.
You have so much time.
Its actually kind of wild how much time you have.
Besides, the IRS isnt the FBI.
Theyre probably not that intense about rules and deadlines.
Pretty low, probably.
Heres the G-rated version:
WHY IS THIS SO HARD?
All these numbers and terms are just static in your head, like the adults in Peanuts.
Why cant they just explain things like normal people?
Do they even know what a W-2 form looks like?
Ooooh, once youre done with this nonsense, youre calling your congressperson.
Bargaining
11:59 p.m. totally counts as on time, right?
Maybe its a gray area, but surely not IRS-kicking-down-my-door bad.
Worst case scenario, you go to jail.
But your friend makes awesome cupcakes he could probably sneak a file in them.
Better yet, send those cupcakes to the IRS with a heartfelt apology letter.
Theyd definitely be moved by that.
Theyd probably tell you just to forget about taxes this year and have another go next year.
Depression
Why is this haaaaaaaaaaaappening to you?
You cant pay this all at once.
Even a payment plan sounds painful.
You should run away to the woods and learn to hunt like Katniss Everdeen.
She was broke, and everything turned out fine for her, sort of.
Oh, who are you kidding?
Youll never make it in the woods.
You could Googlewhat happens if you dont pay taxes, but that would just make everything worse.
And everything is already bad.
Acceptance
Okay, okay, OKAY youre doing it.
Turns out, you’re able to write off your office chair as a work expense.
She said you’ve got the option to text her.
She didnt say how often, though.
Oh, hey, what do you know?
Wait did you just get a refund?
The day is saved.
Now you have money for therapy to help you recover from tax season.
Or for a bow and arrow just in case the economy really tanks.
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